If you love poutine, then we want to see how much you love the great Canadian dish. Pretty simple, order poutine and photograph it. Make it pose like a tiger, do a handstand, propose to it, break up with it then drunk dial it at 3am, whatever… hashtag your photo with #yvrpoutine for a chance for you and a date to be properly beer and poutined at La Belle Patate. Comprendre?
When I heard there was going to be a Poutine Fest in Ottawa I thought, “Well it’s about time!” There are festivals for everything…this was definitely overdue. Think of all the possibilities! This will be THE opportunity to try new flavours and check out some new local poutineries.
So fast forward to the big day. We arrived at about 5pm and there were lineups at every vendor. And I’m not talkin’ 5 or 6 people in every line, it was more like 70! After a bit of debate, we selected one and settled in for the wait. What we quickly realized is that poutine is NOT ribs. Rib Fest works well because the vendors can a. Produce large quantities at a time and b. They have experience in serving hundreds of patrons. It became very clear that the poutine vendors were not ready for the hundreds of hungry Ottawans looking for their main food group: fries, gravy and curds.
After 45 mins we were about half of the way there and then the dreaded vendor walk of shame occurred. The vendor came outside and started a head count. As luck would have it, they cut the line off two people ahead of us. I couldn’t believe it! Pissed off and frustrated, we took off and headed straight for the next best guilty pleasure: pizza from Colonnade, an Ottawa institution. We drowned our sorrows in greasy cheese, pepperoni and bacon but it wasn’t poutine.
So the next day I went local and decided to check out Spuds. With only a handful of people in line ahead of me, I knew I had made the right decision. 5 minutes later I was the proud owner of this beautiful concoction. It was huge and I couldn’t go it alone so I had to bring in reinforcements. Our search for poutine was finally over and it was incredibly satisfying.
I haven’t given up on Poutine Fest. If they have the 2nd annual next year, I will definitely give it another go. I’ll just make sure to get there right when they open.
Until next time…
Spuds Potato Bar and Poutinerie
2020 Lanthier Dr,
Orléans, ON
Born in the late 1950s in Quebec, not on the Plaines d’Abraham, early critics of such a radical combination of potatoes, gravy, and cheese curds, claimed the result would make a fucking mess (“ca va faire une maudite poutine”). One purported inventor who sold his fries with a potato based sauce, also happened to sell bags of cheese curds, so it was just a matter of time before someone, probably drunk, threw them into the mix… thank you whoever you are!
It didn’t take long for variations to emerge. In the 70’s poutine found its way to New York’s disco scene as an off menu item termed “disco fries.” This version took the familiar form of shredded cheddar cheese with rich beef gravy which as we all know melts into an amazing mush; this style is frowned upon by poutine purists. Poutine has since exploded across Canada, often quite far from the traditional version, and can even be found on menus with bistro-esque decoration and creative ingredients. Poutine is often a secret off menu item in some restaurants, which we call Underground Poutine.
Eating and talking about poutine (the right way to make it, the right way to say it, etc.) often takes precedent to more important topics like politics, saving the environment, or eating healthy. And being ground zero for poutine, it is understandable why Quebecois take it so seriously. Whatever the agreed upon outcomes, there are three essential components. Everything else is just like an asshole, everyone’s got one.
The Fries: Typically soaked for a period of time followed by a pre-fry and final fry creating a slight crisp on the outside balanced with a mushy inside.
Squeaky Cheese: The cheese curds should maintain their form under the intense heat from the gravy and shall be squeaky as you chew them.
The Sauce: A light chicken sauce mildly spiced, peppered and even a bit sour.
The poutine at Chez Ashton in Quebec will satisfy the purists. For us… poutine is poutine. It’s a wonderful world of fries, cheese and gravy.
Chez Ashton
3065 Ch Ste Foy,
Sainte-Foy, QC
“Earthing is a fast-growing movement based upon the major discovery that connecting to the Earth’s natural energy is foundational for vibrant health” (earthing.com)
In this month’s edition of the ubiquitous Tofino Time magazine, I found an article about “Earthing” and a woman extolling the virtues of connecting with the earth. Having just spent the afternoon at the mercy of the waves, (sometimes riding them, sometimes being beaten half-to-death by them) I was open to this idea of connecting to nature; I was feeling the virtues.
But as I read on, I realized that this person was talking about ways to actually connect with the Earth, through a range of products (blankets, mats, etc.) that plug into the grounding portion of your electrical socket (the circular prong at the bottom of the trifecta) and quite literally grounds you to the energy of the Earth. After I got over my initial shock and disbelief that this was a real thing, I started to actually consider this term, “grounding,” that we must keep in mind when designing cars, installing electrical wiring or holding an umbrella in a storm. It made me realize that there are all kinds of terms/concepts that we toss around and take for granted, and rarely stop to consider.
I don’t think I’ll be purchasing a grounding blanket anytime soon, but I do respect this idea. I think for now I’ll be content to connect with the earth by eating this poutine (potatoes are from the earth, no?) and digging my toes into the sand before heading back out to be beaten into submission by towering green waves I have no business messing with.
Instagram.com/dannyampersand
Wildside Grill
1180 Pacific Rim Hwy
Tofino, BC
Poutine, poutine, poutine, oh how I love poutine. It’s salty, it’s greasy, it’s… awesome. It’s sophisticated, trumping pizza late at night. It’s comforting, when grilled cheese and tomato soup won’t cut it. It’s unique, because you won’t find the same one at two different joints. It craves creativity as much as any other culinary dish. And it’s always reassuring when you’re at a decent restaurant and you spot it half way down the appetizer menu between spinach dip and crab cakes. Everyone loves poutine, even though some won’t admit it, for if they did, they would succumb to their desires and break their diet. It’s french fries… the staple of eating out. It’s cheese… the milk of Montreal Smoked Meat. It’s gravy… the salty, peppery sauce that brings families together at the holidays…….. Whoa whoa whoa, relax Mr. Narrator, let’s not get too carried away, it’s just poutine after all.
~ Baked Potato Poutine with bacon, green onions and sour cream
La Belle Patate
1215 Davie St.
Vancouver, BC
Don’t let the yachts and high rise Yaletown yuppiness deter you from checking this place out. Blink and you’ll miss it. Tucked under the Burrard Bridge, The Pirate Pub is a gem of a pit stop on your seawall bike ride back to East Van. And with Driftwood’s Fat Tug and Phillips Blue Buck on tap, you’ll have no trouble washing down a classic poutine made with red wine gravy. Keep your eyes peeled, you might even see a black panther.
The Pirate Pub
#1 – 1012 Beach Ave.
Vancouver, BC
The staple go to meal for years of many highschool lunches or a cure for any hangover. Bill’s has been serving up a poutine most Québécois would turn their nose in the air to for as long as I can remember.
Fresh cut potatoes smothered in gravy and ample amounts of mozzarella always kept me coming back for more. On a recent trip back to my hometown of Bracebridge, Muskoka, I had to go back.
While Bill’s Pizza had moved into a new, more spacious, location, Bill was still serving up the same delicious chips with gravy that I remember. If you’re ever in Cottage Country give Bill a visit and say hello for me.
Bill’s Pizza
216 Manitoba St
Bracebridge, ON
Just another Saturday: coffee, morning skateboard, pitch and putt… oh wait, a Hole-in-One, thank you very much golf gods… I’m going to brag about this all day! I didn’t want my first Hole-in-One to happen at pitch and putt, but nonetheless, I’ve joined the club. Being the sunny day it was, I followed this feat up with a day at the beach… skimboarding at Spannish Banks and lying in the sand with friends! And there’s nothing better than hiding your booze in your backpack from the cops. Did anyone bring a frisbee? Someone brought a Frisbee… I’m all over it… LET’S PLAY. After a few easy catches, let’s try a frisbee bump to pop and catch shall we… WHOAAAAAA out of nowhere I’m flipping over a log and lying in the fetal position in the sand. Two kids were right there with front row seats to my unintentional flipadoo. Luckily I didn’t land on their sand castle… they looked more shocked than I was until I looked at my legs which were covered in blood. Don’t move, you’ve broken both your legs (there goes your life for the next six months)… don’t pass out… keep it together. A few minutes pass and now it’s time to stop being a baby and pull it together, you’ve milked this enough, (mom’s not coming)… assess the situation. Uh Oh, there’s a hole in my shin, is that bone! Damn, that’s going to need stitches, but at least my legs aren’t broken. And all I can think is, now I’m going to miss the sunset 😦
Friends will be friends, and they strongly suggest I see a doctor, so we head to the UBC hospital (let’s get a degree in stitches). Waiting room… gonna be a while, hmmmm… I still have beers in my backpack!! I casually sneak away every now and then to crush one in the bathroom, that’s bad ass as fuck isn’t it? Finally on the operating table, and doc says it’s all good… 4 stitches should do it (I watched closely… I think I know how to do my own stitches from now on… fishing line and a sewing needle should work)! Finally done after 4 hours… let’s find where everybody is and get the party going again. Nurse says your friends are in the waiting room… REALLY! Walk around the corner and there they are… three of them… lying on the couch… I feel like I’m in Sons of Anarchy! Alright guys, I say… “Let’s get some fucken’ poutine!” As they pull themselves together from their naps, look at my wound dressing, they present a present. A white bag with a stireafoam container, NO WAY, it couldn’t be… it might be… it IS!!! Poutine? You’re fucking kidding me… you guys know me too well!
We sit and eat this cold poutine, (which by the way is an Off the Menu Poutine from Mahony and Sons) and who woulda thought, cold poutine is pretty fucking good…. like cold pizza good! And all I can think of is… this is how you know who your real friends are! Life’s Good!
~ Mahony & Sons Off The Menu Poutine
Mahony & Sons
5990 University Blvd
Vancouver, BC
Even when you order poutine at The Reef, you’re treated to their unique deep fried bread balls as a complimentary starter. Add some reggae music, a bucket of Red Stripes and a Jerk Chicken Poutine and you’re in Kingston mon.
~ The Reef’s Jerk Chicken Poutine
The Reef
4172 Main St.
Vancouver, BC
Forget those stupid Disney dogs and their spaghetti, nothing says romance like sharing cheese and gravy. Fun Fact: in some countries, poutine is considered an aphrodisiac.
~ Bowen Island Pub’s Poutine
Bowen Island Pub
479 Bowen Island Trunk Rd.
Bowen Island, BC
Relax, it's just poutine... and beer. 